Are you interested in DOTA 2, the Valve-fueled sequel to everyone’s favorite Warcraft 3 mod?*
Would you like to try out the currently live beta, despite the fact that I might end up on your team and ensure your loss?
If so, you’re in luck, because I have not one, but two beta keys available to give away. What do you have to do to get one?
It’s simple: Leave a comment describing a character that would make the best inclusion in DOTA 2 and why.
Spiderman? Carmen Sandiego? Julian Assange? It’s up to you, just make it count. Bonus points if you describe their available skills and ultimate ability.
The best two answers will get a copy of the beta for Steam (PC). I’ll choose winners at the end of this week. In the meanwhile, I’m too busy unintentionally feeding the enemy team to post more well formulated thoughts than “holy hell I am terrible at this game.”
I’d like to congratulate our winners, CaptainCraven and dxCUDA for mixing the right amount of detail, humor, and meta-humor into their entries The Feeder and Deadpool, respectively. They will be contacted via e-mail with their prizes: entry to the DOTA2 Beta!
CaptainCraven’s entry: The Feeder
The Most common champion in DotA 2, said to be OP by many, and OOP by few, The Feeder is in almost every game, often, due to a game ruining glitch, the whole team plays as The Feeder. With no further adu, I bring to you, the feeder!
Feeder is a Ranged Mele Carry Support…Tower.
Base Mana: Empty
Base Health: None
Base Range Attack: The Whole Game,
No Cool downs, ever. Cool downs are stupid.
Never Levels, so upon level, it stays at level 1
Q- The Almost Gank : upon discovering an “all star” (Can I still call them allstars?)all alone and with low health, The Feeder will try and super ninja attack, or in laymans terms, “Gank” the poor (Financially) and unaware target. What the poor (situationaly) Feeder does not realize is that he sucks. And due to the Dota combat triangle, “Sucking” losses to “I have no idea whats going on” 60 % of the time…. ALL THE TIME!
W – The AFK: Often confused with Auto-Fellatio- Kinesthetics, the AFK much more satisfying, and much less religiously fulfilling. Upon 1st activation, The Feeder will do nothing for a 10 sec period. If activated for a second time *between any prime numbered seconds*, the Feeder will activate its passive ability, in which it will become AFK for upto the entire match, but no shorter a time then until the first team fight is finished. Addendum: A favorite tactic of MLG Feeders is to active AFK on the enemys side of the river, so that you gain bonus AFK at twice the rate. Addendum Addendum: A study has shown that feeders with TopTierTactics in their favorite bar are 100% more likely to go AFK when a new articles comes up. THE MORE YOU KNOW
(The Letter That Comes After W…X) X – The Solo Rush: Always leveld up first, Solo rush is a Feeders main ability. It allows them to run straight at the opponents with a complete disregard for personal or hygienic safety. Either straight at a tower, or slightly curved towards enemys, Solo Rush is a fan favorite. This is another build that can be played however. If Solo Rush is activated with over 90% health, the Feeder will run away from the nearly dead enemy, or from the team fight. This will cause glee to spew from the feeders teammates … MOUTHS, I said spew from their mouths; and rage to be extracted from there enemies
ULTIMATE!!11! – The Trash Talk: Ranging from the silly, “LoL is beter then DotA”, to the downright ridiculous, “Who the Hell is WiNGSPANTT?” Feeders have been known to say anything upon activation of there R. Often the feeder will end up insulting its own mother, or in a rare turn of events, will turn on its friends and start yelling at the other team. Unfortunately, what often happens is that the ulti is aimed at the feeders own team, applying a debuff of -67% teamwork for 87 Sec.
Aghanim’s Scepter Can’t be purchased, for that would take too much gold.
Are you still Reading? Really? Well This is me Hoping I win, I should right? I gave up studying for this! O wait, you said a quick contest, didn’t you…
TL:DR I should get one of the Beta Passes
dxCUDA’s entry: Deadpool
John Kassier voicing DeadPool with all his witty remarks and gimicks.Hero difficulty – intermeditate.
Deadpool is a mixed melee/ranged tank.
Deadpool is best played with an aggressive style, used as an early ganker. Deadpools versatile loadup makes him suitable for a variety of situations.
Mana Pool: 260
Attack Range: 75
Damage – 49 – 53
Attack Animation: 0.3 / 0.6
Casting Animation: 0.3 / 0.47
Missile Speed: Instant
Attack Range: 125 (melee)
Base Attack Time: 1.40
Q- Quick draw – Deadpool takes aim with his trusty handcannon.(70/84/112/150) Damage
Casting Range: 300
W – Now you see me – Deadpool blinks to opponent. Causing (95/110/140/180) damage. All enemies in path take 20 damage for every cm they are from Deadpool
E – Now you don’t – Deadpool blinds target with a flash grenade for (1.3/1.5/1.7/2.0) Seconds. This speel has an orbed effect. Enemy takes damage in accordance to the distance away from DeadPool
Mana cost (60/70/80/100)
R-Can’t hurt me- Deadpool becomes impervious to melee damage for /1.0/1.2/1.3/1.5 Seconds. All enemies within a 100 unit radius become stunned for 0.9/1.0./1.2/1.5 seconds
mana cost (160/170/190/195)
Cooldown: 110/100/95/70 Seconds
Casting Range: Self/100
* Excuding Footmen Frenzy, of course.