In my ever-growing quest for additional sources of
revenue fun, I’ve decided to add some Flash games to the site. Yes, technically they’re paired with very short ads, but hey – nobody’s gonna force you to play them.*
At the top navigation, you’ll find four browser-based options for instant-fix gaming. Don’t worry, I weeded out all the shitty “spot the differences” style games and actually found a few remarkable gems among the heaps of digital rubble.
Who knows… you might even like some of these.
Muse: Somewhere between Braid, Ocarina of Time, and [insert platformer that makes you hate life itself], Muse is an atmospheric game that asks you to pair jumping with melody. You’ll encounter a variety of songs that give you powers like the ability to move objects, run faster, and smash your head against he keyboard.
Fantastic Contraption 2: The much-awaited sequel to the hit ripoff of The Incredible Machine, FC2 (not to be confused with our Staff Writer, FC2000) forces you to leverage the laws of physics to solve a series of puzzles. You’ll go from building ramps to building trebuchets over the course of the game, so I hope you have a degree in engineering.
Imperfect Balance 3: What if Tetris had a baby with Angry Birds? You’d probably say either “That sounds like fun” or “How can two software applications have sexual intercourse? And which one is the female?” But assuming you thought the former, you’re in luck… the answer is Imperfect Balance 3. Don’t ask its fucking gender.
Don’t Eat My Chicks! Okay, look, there is nothing to say about this except play this game right now. It’s basically a mix of Panzer Dragoon, House of the Dead, and Duke Nukem. You shoot zombies coming from every direction and lasflhsfhash23hh23 just play it, okay?
Anyway, I hope you enjoy at least one of these offerings and, if not, don’t despair. There are literally tens of thousands of
suckers visitors every day who are welcome to check it out. That said, I highly recommend Don’t Eat My Chicks for a quick burst of zombie-killing fun. Feel free to post your high scores here.
* Except Space Hamlet. Pretty sure that guy’s a shakedown specialist for the mafia.