Home Editorial Balance Official Assassin’s Creed Revelations patch 1.02 LEAK

I’m not going to say precisely how I got this information. Hell, it wouldn’t be conscionable.

I mean, do you have any fucking clue just how many Bothans died to bring this to me? Like… at least four. And I’m pretty sure two of them had kids. That is fucked up.

So I can’t let their deaths be in vain. I don’t know if they outright broke into Ubisoft Montreal and stole clipboards, or if they hacked into Ubisoft’s servers and downloaded the files directly. All I know is I got a crusty piece of paper covered in blood stains, and this is exactly what it said.

 

Extremely Official AC Revelations Patch Notes 1.02

Multiplayer Balance Changes

  • Some players reported they often wanted to use Smoke Bomb, but had to wait as long as 12 seconds for it to become available. We have reduced Smoke Bomb cooldown from 60 seconds to 45 seconds to correct this.
  • Smoke Bomb activation is now instant. This should prevent it from requiring any timing whatsoever.
  • Player personas affected by Smoke Bomb will suffer respiratory damage that will persist until their next deaths. Players with respiratory damage cannot enter high profile, climb, or stun other players.
  • To increase realism, Smoke Bomb will not disappear after its duration ends, but instead dissipate into the wind, affecting nearby players at a reduced rate for up to 2 minutes.
  • Because Templar Vision is one of the most commonly used skills, we wanted to reward players who equip it with a more fun experience. Players now receive an Animus Hack ability for the duration of Templar Vision.
  • Templar Vision duration increased by +200% for all crafting levels.
  • Throwing Knives now cause permanent injury. Previous crafting points allocated into Throwing Knives duration will now be allocated to a new statistic, Throwing Knives damage.
  • Closure was not seeing a lot of high-level play, so we wanted to incentivize players to use it. Now Closure will be accompanied with a loud SLAM! sound and controller force feedback whenever it is activated. To balance this, we’ve increased the cooldown of Closure to 90 seconds.
  • Decoys will no longer run, but will instead edge in and out of blend groups awkwardly attempting to look natural.
  • Players complained that the stun prompt appearing on nearby incognito pursuers was gratuitous. We agree, which is why we’ve removed the in-game GUI. This should make for a more immersive experience.
  • Fixed the Renegade’s fast walk animation, as it was far too conspicuous before. The Renegade character model is now completely invisible.
  • Removed all customization options for the Renegade.
  • Mute duration increased from 1.5 seconds to X, where X is now 50 seconds minus the affected player’s experience level.
  • Mute now affects enemy player microphones in addition to their in-game abilities. You’re welcome.
  • Since Animus Hack is extremely difficult to activate, we wanted to reward players skilled enough to pull it off. Players targeted by Animus Hack will now randomly lose 1 Animus Data Fragment from their single player campaign save file.

 

Other Multiplayer Changes

  • Double Experience is now available permanently on PC. Because let’s face it: nobody plays PC games any more, right?
  • New always-on DRM added to PC version of Assassin’s Creed: Revelations.
  • Added new bonus, Gamestopped +450, which is awarded to players who kill an Ottoman Jester player persona
  • Added new bonus, Telefrag +100, which is awarded to players who Teleport directly into an enemy player persona
  • Added new bonuses, Insane Variety +800 and YouTube Staged Variety +1000
  • Added four new maps: Mt. St. Michel Dawn, Mt. St. Michel Late Dawn, Mt. St. Michel (Modern), and Mt. St. Michel (Modern Night).
  • Nobody ever voted for Knights Hospital, so we removed it and fired the guy who made it. Are you happy now, gamers? Roger is homeless because you don’t like a virtual hospital. Assholes.
  • New DLC game mode available: “Alliance” game mode will pit 3 teams of 2 players against each other. This mode is in its own playlist and is now purchasable for $10.

 

Single Player Changes

  • Since there was no logical reason for Ezio to run out of Assassin signals, we’ve given the player infinite Assassin Signal meter. This should not have any negative effect on gameplay whatsoever.
  • Added new bomb effect, Dirty Bomb. At this time, using this bomb causes a known bug that results in immediate desynchronization.
  • Added new memory, “Claudia’s Ascension.” This memory tells the story of Claudia Auditore’s inspiring rise in the Assassin ranks and how- hahaha just kidding, Claudia’s dead. Ezio only writes memories to her out of compulsion. She has never received any of them.
  • Added new Desmond memory, “Animus.” This memory begins where Memory 5 left off, when Desmond first arrives at Abstergo Industries. It contains the entire sequence of events from Assassin’s Creed, Assassin’s Creed 2, and Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood.
  • Added new Desmond memory, “Recursion.” This memory begins at the start of Assassin’s Creed: Revelations and continues until the point where the player decides to initiate Memory 6.
  • We can’t seem to get out of Memory 6, so that’s it for the patch notes for now. Sorry. By the way, Assassin’s Creed 2 is a really good game. It will definitely be your new favorite part of Assassin’s Creed: Revelations!
16 replies to this post
  1. for a moment I actually thought ubisoft was communicating with the ACR community and bringing out patches instead of expensive DLC.

    haha it’s funny coz it’s true:

    YouTube Staged Variety +1000

    Added four new maps: Mt. St. Michel Dawn, Mt. St. Michel Late Dawn, Mt. St. Michel (Modern), and Mt. St. Michel (Modern Night).

    New DLC game mode available: “Alliance” game mode will pit 3 teams of 2 players against each other. This mode is in its own playlist and is now purchasable for $10.

    the article fits in perfectly, coz aren’t some people “boycotting” ACR multiplayer for a week or so?

  2. I just got this game today and I got very scared for a second thinking I had just spent $30 on a soon to be piece of shit haha

  3. Omg… I thought this was legit until I read the comments. I was about to get up off of my very nice girl gamer ass and start a pseudo-occupy movement outside of ubisoft. I had never visited this site & missed the whole “satire” part (I was Googling stuff).

  4. Ehh….it sorta wrecked the PC version. The smoke bombs start breaking the FPS and there’s large amounts of lag, both network and FPS.

  5. On to the article article itself…..

    I know some of these are jokes, but to be honest, some of these changes would be interesting to add.

    Templar Vision – Duration is a double-edged sword, but does bring a nice change. Sure, more time to scan, but you are very obvious. The longer you search, the higher chance you have of getting slapped in the face or stabbed in the back.

    Removed/Minimal GUI – That….I do actually want. Make it similar to Simple Deathmatch. The only GUI you need is face of target and time remaining. So no gimmicks, no prompts, just pure observation and intuition.

    Decoy – Not a bad idea actually, can fit in any of the decoy behavior settings.

    Knight’s Hospital – Lots of mileage on PC, but that’s usually because people will take whichever map is using Deathmatch or Assassinate.

    Renegade – It’s a little odd how some of the player models really do stick out. Since most games I end up in are Deathmatch, picking out the white-wearing players (Sentinel, Thespian) is easy, and on occasion, Vizer (blue on orange background screams “Stab me”)

    Mute – This would be very useful in team games. Though, very few do communicate with their teams, it’ll still be a blow against those who do. On another note, the timing is really odd, especially if you are used to smoke bombs, though I think I got a handle on how to use it effectively now.

    Closure – The aesthetic touches would be nice, especially to intimidate.

    Double EXP – Experience tells me that players who rank up faster than they acquire their own skills end up doing poorly in the long run.

  6. wait…please tell me wing that this arrticle is fake and not actual patch notes….DDDD: nooo these updates are going to make the game suck….

  7. “Fixed the Renegade’s fast walk animation, as it was far too conspicuous before. The Renegade character model is now completely invisible.
    Removed all customization options for the Renegade.”

    That’s discrimination against invisible people! Because nobody can’t see them they shouldn’t try to look good? On the contrary they should have even more customization!

    I’m going to boycott ACR until the Renegade get more customization and has the spycrab animation during his fast walk.

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