Home Guest Article Bowling for Trolls in Assassin’s Creed Revelations

Welcome! Today, I’d like to discuss the finer art of trolling. I don’t mean trolling to be a pain in the ass to the entire ACR lobby. I don’t mean trolling random people, or people who are winning, or even people who are simply playing reasonably well. Hell, that might be more Wingspan’s territory than mine.

No, I’m talking about trolling the folks who plague our lobbies and properly DESERVE to be trolled.

Hear me out. (<walks out from the back> And me, as well.  As a friend of the article writer, I shall endeavour to put in my 2 cents on this subject.  W.)


Choosing a chump

High on my list of deserving individuals are A) players who spend around at least 90% of their time on the rooftops, and take flight just as soon as you climb to the top, leaving you, in first place, with nothing but three pursuers hot on your tail. Also B) players who taunt you after every single kill/stun. Of course, this includes the 100-point rushed contested kill. Their mothers must be so proud.

(Note: this could very well mean a C) to be added to this list – the “rush-killers”, who, even with their possible vast experience earned within the game, can never do more than high-profile-kill their targets.  ALL THE TIME.  Thus, they feel a need to bowl over everyone and everything in their path, to get to their target, without any thought as to stealth, or applying themselves even a little when it comes to variety.  I mean, why are you acting all hasty and stuff – have you not learned anything about this game, or even the series as a whole, at all?! <sigh>  W.)


Now, I might throw some of this back at the offender. I can risk a quick taunt or two, particularly if there’s no one on my tail at the moment. Hell, I’ve been known to do so when there IS (sometimes, death is just fucking worth it) (Indeed, it very well is, at times.  Especially if the taunt comes after stunning said offender.  W.). But oftentimes, all that encourages is yet more pointless taunting. And the cycle repeats itself indefinitely (ad nauseam, infinitum, et cetera… ugh, I really mean it – it’s like a broken record at times, for these folks.  W.).

As for rush-killing the player in question, one will help toward variety, but continuously doing so is only going to get you killed sooner rather than later. And since that’s how the annoying individual is playing anyway (See? Rush-killers ARE part of the aforementioned list.  W.), he/she is likely to miss the point entirely and think it’s just the normal way to play.

This is unacceptable.

Recently, my good friend Wisdomseeker (Ooh, look, I got a mention!  See, I am a friend of the writer.  W.) and myself have begun utilizing a different strategy. A more effective strategy. And, frankly, a more enjoyable strategy. A strategy that, to my knowledge, has worked successfully 84% of the time it’s been used*. (Mind you: we’ve only really used the technique 53% of the time*.  W.) (Shut up, W – no one cares about the finer details –Love, RO).

We like to call it Bowling for Trolls.


Bowling over with laughter

It’s a simple maneuver, and an easy one to master. Simply barge into the poor clueless bastard. Repeatedly. (I feel I have to explain the technique in detail here: simply hold down high-profile and run at, around, and through your “target”.  You can use sprint if you like – I’ve done so with ability sets that include Hot Pursuit as a perk; it’s rather effective, and distracting, with the speed trails.  Also, add the “shouldering” button every so often, to really barge your “target”.  W.)

It doesn’t matter how much you die – a single game can suffer if it means getting rid of a particularly annoying player who is ruining the game for everyone else. (And trust me, one can even still come out on top or in the top 3 whilst performing this maneuver – just keep your head on a swivel, so to speak, and you can still spot your contract or pursuer when necessary, regardless of whether you’re drawing attention to yourself by constantly being in high-profile.  W.)

In my experience, repeatedly Bowling someone (this is especially fun if they are a roofer and you are consistently knocking them off of their golden perch) is incredibly effective. Players who this has been used on have typically left the match after no more than two games. And if you get more than one person Bowling, you can probably cut that time in half.

Take care. With great power, comes great….well, you get the picture. Do not wield this powerful weapon with reckless abandon. Do not use on players who are not properly deserving, unless you wish to earn the ire of the entire lobby. But we all know the sad state of players you see out there on a daily basis. Sometimes I see little other choice than to exact a small, yet healthy, amount of revenge. It’s all fair. What goes around, comes around.

That and I really, really hate getting taunted.

(Especially by me.  <grins sheepishly> That’s not true, to be honest.  I hate taunting, too.  Please refrain from it, unless you have cause to do so, like the aforementioned reasoning, or because you’re attempting to complete the related challenges.  Have fun out there, folks.  W.)

*  These statistics have absolutely no backing, whatsoever. (Indeed, take them with a grain of salt, kids.  W.)

45 replies to this post
  1. I always found the easiest way to troll people in Wanted/DM was to simply fast walk right behind them. This will make ANYONE nervous. Most of the time they will run like a madman away from you, or they’ll drop a smoke/mute and try to stun you, only to realize you weren’t their pursuer.

    The best part is when they run from you, they often run directly into their real killer.

  2. lol I’ve been doin’ it like since I learned how to play this game ;P Also when I’m sure I can hold the 1st position or easly get it back, even if I have persuers, I often run at such people to make them waste their abilities, or just freakin smoke em whenever I can just to make myself feel better that I don’t have to look a them running for this 4 secs…

    • There’s the irony of it all — there was a stretch of sessions that the Onion and I had, where all the negative aspects we described were being done… by the same player. An always rush-killing, always taunting, roofing prestige player (1 or 2, I think).

      After the second session we’d seen this player in, I decided to start this technique up. For the next 2 sessions, I was “bowling” for this one guy. And yet, I was also still getting my kills and sometimes a stun or two. I ended up 2nd, to Onion’s 1st place finish, both times.

      So you’re right, it can still be done, whilst getting high enough scoring.

  3. Mind you, I feel this is a more DIRECT method — it’s actually quite satisfying to time a well-placed “shoulder-barge” directly into my “target” — thus watching him flail about for that brief moment… before he helplessly gets stabbed by his pursuer.

    Or, even better, when the “offending” player is ACTUALLY (and FINALLY) trying to make a good approach on a target, and you bowl him over, just so he panics and messes up his approach altogether… or even gets caught and stunned — that’s happened MANY times already for me).


  4. In defence of people you see taunting, sometimes it may just be me going for the bonus XP and it’s absolutely nothing personal (and/or I pressed the button by accident) so please don’t just go straight into the “Taunting me? Taunting me now are you, mother fucker?! Right, why not taunt me NOW when I keep running into you and shit? HMM? ANSWER ME MOTHER FUCKER! YEAH, RUIN FIVE SECONDS OF MY GAME EXPERIENCE WILL YOU? HOW DO YOU LIKE THE ENTIRE ROUND RUINED FOR YOU , THUNDER-CHUFF? HMM? HMMMMMMMMMMMM?!” mentality.

    • I don’t mind taunts.
      As long as they are executed in one of three situations:

      1. You’re luring someone down from a roof because the taunt is over before they can kill or stun you

      2. You pulled off a really nice kill

      3. They taunted you on a 150 point kill before and now you oSB focus poisoned their ass. HOW’S THAT?

    • The Onion and I both agree, that’s not necessarily a bad thing — I even said it myself: you may actually be going for the challenge. And I know I’ve accidentally pressed the button, or hit it a few too many times when going for a “revive”. So those are okay.

      But to do it EVERY SINGLE TIME… and you’re the kind of player that doesn’t try for variety, or even something as simple as a good approach?! RO and I have seen this repeatedly (as I’m sure every one of us has at some point). And so, as we said, that’s when I want to start throwing body-checks.

      • I did but I wanted to say that so that people wouldn’t get hung up or paranoid about having to play the game ‘properly’ or never taunting for the bonus XP.

        If you want to grief people then that’s fine, I’m just not a big fan of the criteria.

    • And that’s why we specifically stated that it was the people constantly taunting everyone, who we felt made good targets for trolling. Not someone who taunts once or makes a single rush-kill. Obviously a rush-kill is good for variety, and there are plenty of other reasons for grabbing a fast kill. And we know that taunting a little gives you some extra points. We’re not condemning that (although it was kind of a bitch move for Ubisoft).

      We’re talking about when it’s done CONSTANTLY.

    • First off, I apologize if the “method” in and of itself may scare anyone off the game in any way. I certainly would hate to see a drop in play because of this article.

      Second, I don’t use this method EVERY TIME I PLAY. Not even close. If anything, I’d much rather prove these players wrong, in that more time-honoured tradition of winning. :-P

      And with all that said, I don’t even think that this is meant to be taken seriously, because in the long run, the Onion and I would much rather be having FUN out there in the ACR lobbies, than anything else… even winning.

      I guess what we’re trying to say that the style of play we described in our “criteria”, used on a CONSTANT basis, can detract from that sense of fun. I understand, from Wing’s reply (down the way there), that it’s not justifiable, and hence my point about NOT using this every single time.

      Again, I’d rather just be enjoying the game, than having to deal with other grief. This was just meant as a sort of venting or rant. Have fun out there, folks.

  5. Insightful time. I know doors are responsible for 80% of door related door accidents. I also know right now you are reading what I’m writing

  6. I only ever taunt during that awkward moment in Steal the Artifact when you see another player safely on their side and they see you.

  7. I had a great chance to troll some cheaters today. I was put into a Corrupted match where everyone was boosting in the middle of the map. When it was my turn to be corrupted, I didn’t have any of that ‘run to the middle and get stunned’ BS that everyone else was doing. I went with smoke/gun, and proceeded to clear out all of the cheaters. They were yelling at me like there was no tomorrow, and I succeeded by having most of them rage quit, effectively ruining their little boosting session. Take that, cheaters!

    • Well, that’s just the right thing to do, altogether. That’s not trolling — that’s doling out JUSTICE. So, I salute you, good sir.

    • abompro — I think we might have been in the same lobby (Xbox, around 11:00 pm PST). I thought the pursuers were just AFK for a moment, but they were just boosting at the fountain in Rome. Pretty weak on their end — if you don’t enjoy the game enough to play it right and level up appropriately, then I don’t see why they bother playing it at all (they were all +/- level 14).

  8. I do that, especially when I’m getting the ‘no contracts or pursuer’ bug. Although I spice it up with a little smokebomb and firecracker to get the maximum rage. And I have to say, I rarely care who I Troll, I don’t check to see whether they deserved it or not, I just Troll people, coz it’s the way of the Troll.

    We should make a Trolling technique research and development team, it would be epic. Imagine what you can achieve with that power, the power of Troll. Ah, I can taste the rage and tears on my lips, simply orgasmic…

  9. My punishment for bad lobbies is super pro. If you haven’t seen the yt vids, just run around like an idiot, get chase kills, and use the gun. Winner has the most kills :P it’s a good stress reliever

    • That’s pretty much what this one chick was doing today, only the lobby wasn’t bad at all. No roofers, on Antioch. But she was running around in high profile – pretty much all the kills I got on her were from her barreling into me. I also taunted every kill/stun I got on her, since that’s what she was doing as well. She got 2nd to me, since no one else in the lobby had much of a chance. Game two, same deal. Considering it was St. Michele, there wasn’t much roofing until she went up there. She lost very badly that time. If she’s trying to be Super Pro, she’s failing miserably.

      Note: I use the gender of the avatar to refer to the player with. I have no idea if the player was a girl or boy ^^

  10. Those players annoy me soooo much. If most of the lobby was like that, I would say they deserve a pro treatment, but one on their I can deal with :P

    • During two games where all anyone was doing was chilling up on the roof, all I did was hump the same section of wall. I was sick of roofing, sick of the game being broken, so I figured I’d troll them all back in my own way. Anytime a pursuer came near, I leaped off the wall and raced over the rooftops and ground in high-profile until they gave up and killed an NPC. Then I went back to the wall. I got taunted a few times, but somehow actually ended up in 3rd. Which really says something about the state of the lobby…

      There were actually look-alikes at the beginning of that match too, and it was SDM! I know I killed a duplicate pirate chick to start out with, and a Sentinel killed the extra Vizier wandering around. I think it stopped later, but that was incredibly annoying.

  11. I love how this has become a debate of justifying trolling. Look, whether you have a reason or not the reality is that doing this will ruin someone else’s game experience. Is it justified? Probably not. If they’re playing like fools, either they’re doing terribly or their strategy (as annoying as it is) is working.

    I’d agree with Binny, if you want to mess with people, that’s always your prerogative, you don’t have to have a reason, just understand that you are trading utility for lulz.

    • No, I hear ya, Wing. The “technique” we described is not justified — and in the end, it’s not like I DO IT EVERY TIME the situation arises. I dunno — I think the teacher in me (I’m a high school math teacher by trade) is just wishing that some players learn, though. So the article we wrote was more of a vent or a ranting about the whole “playing like fools” strategy, that we’ve witnessed more and more.

      Again, I’d much rather just prove the point by winning, if anything else. But even more to the point, I’d really rather just enjoy the game, on my own or even moreso with friends like the Onion. And of course, I’d like to share in the more memorable experiences, like from what I’ve read here, and from what I see in YouTube vids and the like, or just what I observe in-game itself.

      So, all-in-all, let’s just have a good time out there, kids.

      • Indeed, having a good time is the point of it all. Whether you have it by winning, by humiliating others, or by trolling, no one can take away your play style from you.

        Also, please, to the people that is trying to justify trolling, please stop. It won’t be trolling anymore would it, if you have a justification for it. For me, trolling is the act of inducing rage on others without justification, and I’m happy with that. I don’t need a reason to ruin your game, I just do it for the lulz. Whether it ruins your game, whether it causes me to lose, if I feel like going super pro that night, then I will go super pro.

        You don’t need to try justifying your actions on a game, don’t feel obligated to. It’s an online game, what’s the worst that could happen (if the guy you trolled found your address and killed your family, I’m not responsible)? The internet is a place where you have more freedom than anywhere else, if you spend your time being good in the real world, you can spend time being an jerk online, it’s okay.

        Remember the creed of the trolls, it’s ALL for the LULZ.

  12. Can I get a ruling here?

    In Corruption, what are your thoughts on pursuers who use the Templar Vision/Gun combo? They stop 20 feet from whatever blend group you’re in, use TV, then shoot you. There is absolutely no way to counter this. It also takes no skill on their end (push LB, then push RB).

    Incredibly frustrating since I’m going after the “Survive Sudden Death in Corruption” challenge, and I get killed within 30 seconds with no chance to retaliate (except to troll them while we’re both pursuers).

    • Haha yeah it’s pretty much uncounterable. Your best bet is to either Knife/Mute them when they use TV (so they can’t use the Gun) or to try to stay near other Uncorrupted to improve your odds.

      • They’re usually too far away to mute…and knife is too useless otherwise as one of the Uncorrupted (if I’m forced to bring a knife to an Uncorrupted loadout, the terrorists have already won). Closest I’ve gotten to stopping it is by throwing smoke bombs at them.

        What’s more frustrating is that I feel I can’t scold them for doing it. As cheap as it is, it’s not cheating or exploiting a glitch…so I’d feel like a major wuss if I called them out on it. (Which is why I’m running to the T3 boards to tattle on them…like a REAL MAN!)

    • Heh, you’re not tattling.

      And yeah, Wing’s got that right, and I’ve seen it used myself — it IS uncounterable, it seems. And you’re probably even dealing with this situation from different elevations, too. So my planned suggestion of Knives/Charge is out of the question, on that count.

      Maybe Teleport? All depends on where you’d end up, but there’s a chance you might get away. Your smoke idea seems logical enough, though.

    • I’d suggest, if you’re on St Michele, running away to the secret area you can’t be killed at… But that ruins it for any legit players in the lobby. That and it’s really not a fair thing to exploit ^^

  13. @ArchStanton20: Nope, I play on PC. They were boosting on top of the little tents next to the fountain, though. I joined in at first thinking that they were AFK and I would get some easy points, but I soon found out otherwise. Sad thing is that these players were prestige 14-21. It felt so satisfying ruining their little party.

  14. One counter to tv gun is hiding in a haystack and smoking them when they get near. I’m not sure if you can shoot hay but at least the tv won’t work

    • I love it! Yeah, I think you can be shot in hay, but you’re right, it’ll definitely be harder to spot you with TV, and either a smoke bomb or tripwire bomb would be helpful afterward.

      Now, I wonder if you can teleport in hay…

  15. @Wisdom_seeker: That’s a no on the teleport from hay, which would be awesome if you could. My counter for the TV/Gun combo on Corrupted is to use Teleport immediately when he uses TV. This gives him no time to use his gun, and he wasted TV. That’s all I’ve got.

    • :-( Aw. That… sucks. Bleh.

      But, yeah, that’s what I was thinking, and thus my suggestion to ArchStanton20 — as soon as TV is used, just Teleport to anywhere. You pursuer’s wasted one ability, and may not be able to find you for a while.

      Hell, if you Teleport toward the TV-user — ArchStanton did point out that the ones who’ve tormented him with this tactic do so from afar — you might pop up and surprise them quickly enough for a stun.

      Not that I’D try that, mind you. Seems like an easy way to get killed. But good luck to ArchStanton, and all others, on trying to counter this strategy.

  16. Indeed, the bowling is fun! :)

    But I don’t really mind being taunted and I rarely do it by myself.

    But there are of course some exceptions:
    – I hate it getting smoked, poisoned and taunted at the same time. That’s unacceptable!
    When they’re trying a Focus and I manage to get a stun out of it, then I am the one laughing.

    – And I HATE being taunted by the Jester. At any circumstances. I don’t like people pointing their fingers at me and poke their tongues out. And that annoying laugh!!!

    On the other hand I love taunting WITH the Jester….oh well….

    YES, I recently had such an encounter, too! I was playing Chest Capture and joined a session in the middle of the game and I was very confused ’cause the other team hat absolutely no points (they were all around Prestige 19) and my teammates (they already had about 15k points) didn’t capture any chests. They were all in the middle of the map with the other team stunning them repeatedly, gaining points to boost their scores.
    So I captured the chest by myself and when it was my teams turn to kill, my teammates gathered around with the other team to let the other team stun them.
    Needless to say I did the same you did and killed everyone and everything in sight.
    The other team wasn’t that pleased about it; they didn’t get us much stuns as the guys from my team because of me. Obviously they left the lobby after that

    And I think they said that they wanted to try the same thing in Corruption. If you’re playing on PS3 it might be the same people…

  17. So, from the WiNG-BIBLE-SPANTT, in the book of the alliance of wisdom_seeker and WiNGSPANTT, thou who misuseth the “Y” or ” Triangle” button shall incur the wrath of the God of trolling. One honourable sire may be vested with this power, so as too rid the lobby of the eternal blight if the lowly scum, Roofers and Runners. When one is vested with such power, it comes with a great burden if responsibility not to destroy a player who is not guilty of sin. But for those who are, they must repent by being ” bowled over”.

    Verse 12 Book of the alliance of wisdom_seeker and WiNGSPANTT

  18. Heh, heh… very well said However, I must point out that the actual author of the article is RudeOnion. WiNG just published it for her, and I had added my 2 cents to what the Onion wrote.

    But thank you for the acknowledgement, kind sir. *bows respectfully*

  19. Thanks a lot wisdom_seeker for your comment and please pass on my appologies to RudeOnion , the one who dicovereth the truth, the awnser for how to rid the lobbby of the creators of the sin ANNOYING IDIOTS.

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