Home Editorial #E3 2013: The 10 commandments of managing E3 hype

With the 2013 E3 show only one day away (and with media presentations already under way), it’s inevitable: gamers are going to get carried away with hype.

We know you want to be excited. We know you want to cheer for your favored platforms and titles. But we also know you’ve been burned before by bad games with bogus claims.

With that in mind, we implore you to keep these 10 things in mind as you watch, read, and “learn” about everything being shown off in LA this week.

1. If it’s not specifically labeled or called gameplay, it’s not gameplay.

2. Real gameplay is polished to hell to hide/brush over glaring flaws.

3. If designers won’t talk about the last game, the new one isn’t better.

4. Booth models do not have the answers. They are, however, very nice.

5. If the story can be paraphrased “Just kill the bad guys,” the story sucks.

6. The more “exclusive” a story is, the more the “reporters” were bribed.

7. If it looks like a gimmick and sounds like a gimmick, it’s a gimmick.

8. Ignore these words: new abilities, accessible, connected, anticipated.

9. Bad graphics in AAA games shows the project isn’t being prioritized.

10. Remember: You don’t have to choose between Microsoft and Sony.




5 replies to this post
  1. “Let’s see a little uh demonstration uh here played by uh our developer *Insert name of dude who works at Ubisoft*.”

    “As you can see, we got the awesome Chase Breakers which won’t work on any spot but this one, but we don’t tell you that…”

    “What game that was supposed to tie up the plot of Assassin’s Creed? 3? Silly you, that number does not exist. Next question!”

    “Excuse me, but my cue card seems to have run out of dev-supporting things to say and I got the whip the last time I pretended to know anything about the game.”

    “In zis game, you will be playing as Yet Another Bloke From Another Part of The World Who’s Still Somehow Related to Desmond on his quest to stab all ze bad guys…”

    “The story about how the conflict between the Assassins and the Templars gets taken to the next level yet again is quite exclusive, so we’ll just end this article with a picture of the donations our house received this month.”

    “You will be able to use Rope Darts, Poison Darts, bow and arrow, et cetera to hunt animals in order to craft various non-performance enhancing gear.”

    “We know the new Multiplayer is highly anticipated, so we’ll be doing our best to add in new abilites and change existing ones to make it more accessible to new players so you can stay connected with your friends…”

    “You have to forgive us for this, it’s a tiny glitch in how the corpse physics render, but it’ll be fixed before release. (AKA never.)”

    “If you do not play on Xbox, please help us help you help us all, rip your own face off, and deposit it in our facebook at the door.”

    Why can I see all of those quotes happening with Ubisoft… why?

    • 1. Easy example here is a lot of Colonial Marines stuff.

      2. Colonial Marines again here.

      3. It’s fairly common at events like E3 that everyone forgets about the specifics of the last few years. Games happened and… that’s it. Call of Duty games are very rarely looked back on and mentioned in a sense apart from “look at the NEW Call of Duty”.

      4. Personal experience.

      5. A story of “Go kill bad guys” often isn’t very engaging and people find that get’s in the way of enjoying it fully. Colonial Marines and the more recent CoD games seem to have a story of “Go here, kill dudes, go there, kill some more dudes” without much substance.

      6. As someone who occasionally gets hold of exclusive info, no comment.

      7. Six axis controller, basically.

      8. Those words are often used without any specifics said to make people THINK that specifics were said and it’s going to be really good. Sure, a game may be anticipated but by who? The old fans who were going to buy it anyway? The stock holders? WHO?!

      9. I personally see graphics as a more polish thing than a core thing. Poor polish, however, can show that the press demo was rushed or poorly prioritized.

      10. It’s always good to remember that you don’t have to follow a false dichotomy.

  2. Keep these in mind for E3? WiNG, I’m going to keep these in mind for every new game I see for as long as I play games. Good stuff!

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