Monday is boring; Why not troll people on Facebook?
What if conclusions were windows that you jumped out of, instead of on to?
Who invented Mondays, anyway? Was it God? Was it Thomas Jefferson? Was it the ancient Gregorians?
Perhaps all of existence, including time itself, is simply a giant construct designed to infuriate its participants. Perhaps, on the highest plane of existence there sits a being whose entire delight rests in trolling humanity.
Step 1: Invent Mondays
Now, I realize that complaining about Mondays isn’t original, or tacical, or even entertaining. One might wonder “Did WiNG just run out of things to write about? Perhaps we didn’t send him enough money?”
While that’s certainly part of the problem, the larger issue is general ennui and a shake of writer’s block. So, I present to you an oldie-but-a-goodie: my guide to the ultimate Facebook game, Wasting Other Peoples’ Time and Toying With Their Emotions…
The Most Dangerous Game
- Choose the “Like this!” option on sad status updates. How will Ken react when you “like” his status, “I never knew I could hurt this much inside”? Who knows? You can always claim you were actually liking his introspection.
- Choose a random friend you never talk to. Go through their 2nd oldest photo album and find a picture of something pointless, like of their backyard, or a random building, or someone you don’t know. Now post a baffling, cryptic comment. “I’m glad to see things haven’t changed.” After they receive your odd, unsettling remark, feel free to ignore the inevitable follow-up private message.
- Send a random Gift to someone you never talk to. Don’t include any explanation.
- Always always tag people’s butts, hands, toes, or backs in photos. Never tag the face, even if it’s visible. Better yet, tag their cars.
- Post a link to the most hate-ridden website possible. Don’t comment on it. Is it scary, or satire? Your audience gets to decide. Everyone’s a winner.
- Find pictures of celebrities on-line, preferably in casual settings. Save the pictures to your phone’s memory card, then upload it to Facebook as a Mobile Photo Upload, naming the photo simply with the celebrity’s name. When people ask where you saw them, name the place that person most frequents in town.
- Know someone who posts way too much? Poke them. Every time they post. Since poking is pretty much universally hated by now, you can at best pin your hopes on provoking a Pavlovian response to their endless posting. If they ask you to stop, that probably warrants a poke.
- Never leave comments on anything other than “I don’t get it.”
- Choose an acquaintance and post a nonsensical but seemingly-out-of-context blurb on their wall. “Hahhaa, right! Well, at least in America, anyway!” If they respond (they won’t), feign ignorance.
- Create a group named after a mutual friend/acquaintance of most of your Facebook friends. Invite everyone you know except that person to the group. Do not add any information, updates, or posts to the group other than a single picture of the subject’s face.
- Update your favorite music, movies, quotes, etc every day. Remove and re-add the same band every 2 or 3 days for the most surreal experience possible.
- Create a blank Paint document and use the Type Tool to write down the names of 4 or 5 friends. Upload the JPEG to Facebook and tag each name to its corresponding friend. Delete the inevitably confused comments.
- Get into arguments with the friends of your friends you don’t know in the comments section of any post. If you’re reprimanded, just claim you posted it by accident.
- Find a wide-angle picture of a graveyard and upload it to Facebook. Tag random people to random headstones. Erase any comments posted.
The lulz never stop
Looking for more way to embarrass your friends, your family, and yourself? Check out Top Tier Tactic’s follow-up post: More Ways to Troll Facebook.
Or “How to troll on Facebook”.
14th one only for advanced trolls with experience on ruining people’s lives and lacking any kind of emotion.
Post “ants” on every single comment you can find, then post “ex” after your first post
Hahah, it’s like in France, right? Idiots.
LOL the last one is hilarious. That’ll show those people tagging the Care Bears posters. I think that’s a form of trolling in itself…
Thought Process: Oh! Cute/annoying poster bring back memories of the 80′s. Let’s see, who am I? ::hovering mouse over blurry bears:: Wait a second, why was I tagged as Grumpy Bear!? what are they trying to say exactly?
I am ALWAYS friggin’ Grumpy Bear.
people from the eighties were a bunch of dumbfucks.
#15 – Post something sinister or evil on someones update, once someone has responded delete your post to ensure both anger and confusion.
the only people who do this are the sociopaths that no one likes. trolling with your real name on social networking sites is retarded; going through the ordeal to create a fake account that will be banned anyway is more so.
stick to /b/ and jerk off there
Don’t know anything about /b/, care to explain?
Fapping to /b/ is very dangerous.
You know that’s right. Also rules 1 and 2 apply.
Rules 1 and 2 only apply to raids. Which don’t happen anymore.
Unless incited by funnyjunkers or the occasional newfag
Well I do it but Im not a sociopath. I’m just bored alot. Long story.
Basically most of my friends laugh with me when they get trolled, coz they troll too. Occasionally you get the odd person who gets confused (opportunity) or gets angry (BIIIG opportunity.) So long as you know the ethical boundaries and dont do something like 14 which will probably result in losing alot of friends very fast, then you get laughs and some others do too. Not all of us are the type to troll endlessly and have no humanity. I troll for a while when I’m bored then do something productive afterwards and troll again a week or so later.
Find a status that is about popular events. For example, though this probably won’t be the case, “Hitler is a douche”. Infallibly, a perosn will respond: “I Agree. Hitler was a dick”. Post a comment “I thought Hitler had a pretty good point”. Wait for the infallible response of “How could you say something like that?! That’s so insensitive!”
Delete previous comment. :)
Haha!
That’s pretty cool
Rules 1&2?
Fuck off you scum sucking /b/tard piece of shit.
↑MAD↑
maybe this will clear things up
http://aninformalschoolcalledlife.blogspot.com/2011/01/back-to-school.html
Change yout birthdate for today, some people will greet you, and other will know, it’s hillarious
nice one
Post a status saying:
(your name here) just found out their first post on facebook was “(make something up here)”
find out what your first post was here: (link to lemonparty here)
[...] never given anyone the impression and wanton trolling is a desirable way of life. There’s a time and a place for trolling, but if we hope to build a better society, the line has to be drawn somewhere, whether it be a [...]
THIS IS TOO FUN
EVERYONE IS GOING TO BE SO PERTURBED
THOU ART THE LORD HIGH OF THE TROLOLOLOL
lololol i totally did the graveyard thing
I am doing this to enrich my night. Thank you, sir.
Here’s my way to troll people! :D
http://virbots.in/2011/kill-facebook-prank/
Am currently attempting number 14. Shortly after though, I thought that I should add my own lil flair to it. status= “Anyone know of a decent gun store that doesn’t ask a lot of questions?”
LOVE that graveyard thing
Better yet, when your friend leaves his facebook up do this on his account
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL FUCKING WITH PEOPLE IS HILARIOUS LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
the See more Official Facebook page ! go to it to day the link is http://www.facebook.com/pages/See-more/202041696509640?sk=wall
Big ol’ troll here
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001820995078&sk=wall
The best one I’ve ever seen is you get your whole circle of friends to update their status to “(subject name here) will be missed. RIP” and other things of that nature. The best part is when people who aren’t in on it start posting comments like that too. Best to do it when the victim is on holiday or trying to kick the facebook habit.
go to someones page and leave a very sexual remark about how you had a great time and they can really take it and you cant wait for the next time
enjoy :)
I have found out an awesome trick on facebook to prank your friends goto http://www.facebookmaniacs.in or goto Facebook Page http://www.facebook.com/lmao.i.fooled.you
An awesome thing You must try once Loved this Page.
To the idiot that calls itself WiNGSPANTT.
Come on… I mean. Come. On Posting such meaningless drivel is one thing, but admitting to writers block while displaying such poor standards/understanding of what is supposed to be an art form, is a great insight in to what a lifeless, dumb fucker you must be.
What does humour mean to you? Surely confusing idiots in such laborious, distant ways would be boring, if not painfully so?
I can’t even begin to imagine how lonely it is, to live in this way.
Everyone who uses myface or spacefuck as anything more than a tool to communicate with geographically distant friends knows they are a depressing perv, trying to read between the lines of their fellow chumps narcissistic self-representations, hoping to find their lives are as empty as their own… or something.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve nothing against fucking with people but you clearly need schooling, to realise what an idiot you really are, that the people who cheer you on are all pond life.
Anyone agree? Anyone?
Sincerley,
Hugh F. Beantrold
It’s…
a joke?
Christ.
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[...] ce type de personnages – et, avouons-le, parfois, certains membres l’ont bien mérité.Top Tier Tactics a eu de bien bonnes idées pour troller efficacement et rendre fous vos amis Facebook. Si vous avez [...]
FUNNEST WAY TO TROLLLL:
Post a status like : If you type your password and enter it, it shows up as stars. LOOK<3 : ********************************* (Put your password, but type in stars)
Then get a friend to post there password in starts, and let the troll begin. LOL, but you have to be fast befre they delete there comment :P
This sound like the best and easiest way to become the biggest douche bag on anyone’s friends list
Really informative blog. Fantastic.
I laughed through the whole post. I have to try these sometime, if I only dare.
Haha here’s one..
When you go on your friends Facebook edit their info like change what sex they are interested in…
Ex. If its a guy change his to interested in men
If its a girl change it to interested in women.
another good tip: make your profile picture a group picture where it’s difficult to see anyone’s face. This way, more people might accept your friend request with the assumption that they know you but just don’t know your name.