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Dear Internet,

Please excuse my intermittent attendance. As some of you may know, I’ve been a very busy man these last few weeks, what with “Christmas” and “shopping” and “interpersonal disasters” mucking things up. That said, be assured I’ve been keeping my list and checking it twice, and our mail bag’s been stuffed with people in desperate need of counseling.

While I could refer them to a legitimate counselor, I will instead opt to share my own advice with them. My lawyers tell me this could be disastrous, but my money tells them “just nod and say yes,” so it all evens out.


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