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Murderous Mistakes

Dear TTT,

What Are The Best Classes For Manhunt.
Offence And  Defence


Dear Jordan,

Thanks for writing in. Let me start my reply by saying… what?!?

I know I never claimed to be perfect in Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood, but as far as I can tell, having played the game for hundreds of hours, there are no classes in AC:B. There are Personas, Abilities, Perks, and Streaks, but nothing that could be considered a class, other than perhaps “the roof-running idiot.”

Starting with Personas, each Persona is just a character skin, meaning it’s an aesthetic choice with no impact on your capabilities. I suppose that in the broadest sense, a few skins confer a slight strategic advantage; the Smuggler, Prowler, and Courtesan skins can all look similar from far away, especially if you paint their outfits grey or brown. To that effect, you might gain a small lead over opponents playing in SD who are unable to tell the difference from across il pilazzo.

If you’re talking about skills and abilities, why don’t you check out my Brotherhood multiplayer strategy articles, starting with Part 1? In general, though, you want skills that will let you perform your role (either surviving/stunning or tracking/hunting) and perks that ensure a higher score based on your strategy and personal ability.

If you meant actual classes, I suppose signing up for intro-level courses at your local community college might help, depending on the subject matter. May I suggest Law Enforcement Techniques (criminal justice), Game Theory (math), or Murders and Executions (business)?


Mighty Morphin Power Blunders

Dear Mr WiNG

As I walked past a child today, I said to him “I’m the red fucking power ranger, and you aren’t!”. He then told me that I “weren’t not him” and then told me that I sucked. I proceeded to tell this boy that I AM the red power ranger, or I’m the white one when he’s on, AND I told him he should respect me because I invented bananas.

This little shit told me he’ll get Zordon (the huge cancer patient who lives in a glass tube) onto me, and now I fear for my life. What am I to do?

-Not WiNG, again

Dear Not WiNG, again,

If you’re up against Zordon and the Power Rangers (of the original Mighty Morphin variety, none of that Time Force Universe Cop bullshit), here are some ways you can take down the teenage team without even breaking a nail:

  • Send more than one monster: For fuck’s sake, if you can create monsters out of clay, send 100 at once! The Power Rangers usually barely defeated single enemies; what chance would they have against an entire army?
  • Send the monsters somewhere new: Here’s a crazy idea… if you know the Power Rangers live in Angel Grove, California, send your monsters to anywhere in the world that isn’t Angel Grove, CA. After all, you’re trying to conquer Earth, not a single suburb on America’s west coast, right? The fight is a lot easier for the Rangers when they don’t have to spend 12 hours traveling to Beirut to fight your (now 100-strong) force.
  • Start off with the monsters big: The Power Pansies need to call on dormant robots that take minutes to show up and assemble to beat giants. You just need to wave a wand to create them. What will the Rangers do when, by the time they’ve arrived, your Godzilla-sized army has already destroyed Paris, London, and Santa’s workshop? Sure, they might win, but at what cost?

While these techniques may not directly help you defeat a small child; use your imagination. To him, you’re already a giant. Just pick up some friends and torch his house when he’s at school.* The more you know!


Power PC Gaming

Dear Top Tier Tactics,

Could you recommend some good PC games to play? What are your favorites, what has good replay value, what is a “must-play” game etc.


Dear Z,

What a delightful, well-composed question. Here are some of my favorite PC games of all time (of all time!):

  • Team Fortress 2: cheap, fun, great community, and I heard some nice guy deleted his rare item for charity
  • Portal: hilarious, intriguing, and original, Portal spawned a thousand memes (and soon, a sequel)
  • Homeworld/Homeworld 2: A gorgeous RTS with a touching story, great scope, and truly 3-dimensional gameplay
  • Starcraft 2: fun for beginners and seriously competitive pros, there’s a reason the Koreans made this their sport
  • Monkey Island series: Whether you dig up an old copy or the new special editions, the humor and puzzles are timeless
  • GRID: Simply put, you will not play a racing game with more style, presentation, and sense of speed for under $15
  • Spore: Just kidding; Spore is terrible.
  • The Longest Journey: An adventure game that was willing to eschew convention and create two unique worlds

Hope this helps. Perhaps some savvy readers can share their must-play PC games list in the comments section?


*Or, you know, don’t. I mean, it’s your jail time.

16 replies to this post
  1. I’ll share my favorite PC games in a moment, but first a bit of more information on how to defeat almost ANY Power Ranger imagainable:

    The Power of Three! – It’s widely known that if an even number of mooks are sent out, the battle will always be a victory for the Power Rangers. (who I will shorten down to MMPR now). By sending out an odd number of mooks though, one will always be guaranteed to return home with something of value that will siverly weakened the team to the point where they must unlock their “true” potential to regain the lost MacGuffin.

    Express yourself with Flair! – If all Mooks look the same, then they are doomed from the start. (Unless the power of three comes to play). Yet, “flair” in any sense can make any Mook into a super Mook. For example, that Mook with a medal or a fine hat? That one will be credit to team, and most certainly provide to be an extra challenge for the heroes. If you provide all mooks with very unique pieces of flair, in order to avoid any two looking like a twin, you can bet that your standard team of mooks will rise to the level of a formidable fighting force, clearly and easily able to hold off the MMPR for a good two or three episodes. Remember though that this can backfire though!

    Why not make the minimum 39 pieces of flair? – Even though 10 is the minimum, any “more” then 10 is good, but there’s a hidden number which is too many pieces. Concider this, a Mook in a clown suit for example? Or posing as a Construction worker? If one’s flair becomes too much, it will “disguise” the mook, only leading to their inevitable doom. (just right before their flair is pulled away in some form of hilarious hi-jink antics!) What does this mean though? Have enough flair, but not too much, or else the power of it all will be undone.

    With this information, hopefully you can keep those MMPR at bay long enough for your evil plans to come to fruition. In the worse case scenario though, it should lead the fight on long enough for you to play that Low-Orbit Ion Cannon card you’ve been waiting on for so long.

  2. Favorite games of mine (some are repeated):

    TF2-I main this game
    Portal-high replay value (especially since I haven’t played through it after the update)
    Sam and Max-great adventure game by tale-tell or tell-tale?
    Monkey Island-playing the newest chapter right now
    Batman Arkham Asylum-You are Batman! And the Riddlers clues scatter through-out will demand a replay.
    Bioshock- I have the second one, and it doesn’t come close. You lie (enter name of any pc game magazine here).
    Farcry 2-You are in Africa! Tons of replayability (inventing words on the fly). The weapons rock, and the crazy cool things the environment adds to game play is unreal. Start a fire, and the winds blow it . . . anywhere. I enjoyed it.

  3. The Oddworld series are some of my all-time favorites. They started out on the PS1 but you can buy the first two on Steam and I hear that Just Add Water is making HD remakes.

  4. Mass Effect 1
    Half Life series(Blue Shift and Opposing Forces included.)
    Killing Floor(Great multiplayer game. Not easy to get into.)
    Team Fortress Classic(Come on. You can’t be playing TF2 without at least looking at this game.)

  5. An oldie but goodie is Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. TONS of replay value, especially if you start adding mods to it.

  6. How does this maggot dare calling himself Z?!

    Also, Jedi Knight II is awesome.

  7. Spore rules! All of you hat0rz just don’t know how to play it properly.
    *hint* close your eyes and pretend it’s not the 923745th time you are ordere to fly to a planet 10 parsec away just to collect some worthless shit.

    but srsly, spore is not as bad as all ppl say it is

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