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To Have and to Stab

Dear Top Tier Tactics,

I was wondering on a huuuuuuuge guide on how to get your first stab with the spy.

I want to become better with YER, but the 1st stab is always the killer for me.

Help plox?


Dear Andrew,

I remember my first stab. I was really nervous, because everyone told me it was really fun, but I didn’t know anything about it. I knew it would be highly pleasurable, but I was also worried I would get hurt. Luckily, I was equipped with Your Eternal Reward and was ready to show that Sniper just how much I cared…

First off, your ability to succeed with this knife will greatly depend on your access to the full Saharan Spy set. As one of the Team Fortress 2 Polycount Pack sets, it grants you a silent decloak, even when using the notoriously noisy Dead Ringer. This bonus means that stalking stabs are once again viable, even against Team Fortress 2 veterans who have honed their ears to constantly listen for decloaking sounds.

To perform a stalking stab, just cloak (using any watch, though you’ll have less time with the Dead Ringer), get behind the target, and walk forward while riding his ass –so to speak– and uncloak while holding down Mouse 1. You’ll get an easy backstab the second you’re able to, and your victim won’t have a clue what’s coming unless he happens to turn around in the short uncloak animation.

If you don’t have the full Saharan Spy set or find enemies are a little too paranoid to leave their backs exposed, you still have options. Leaping stabs or drop stabs from higher elevations are a good way to get into position without being too obvious. Another simple method is to wait by enemy spawn rooms or teleporter exits ready to perform spinal surgery on the next chump to appear.

However, for the most part, using Your Eternal Reward will require timing. Even when you have a disguise, it’s not going to fool anybody, especially if they know you can’t change it. Since you can’t redisguise or change disguise at will, you will also need to more carefully weigh the costs of dropping your pretenses to unload L’Etranger at les étrangers on the other team. Finally, you will have to develop a sense of when it’s a good time to abandon your mortal coil in exchange for a totally sweet chainstab on every single person hugging the payload cart.


To Have and to Hold

Hey WiNG,

Seeing as you are the wisest man I know, I have come to you for guidence. There is a certain character on the internet who describes himself as a “lovable miscreant” who refuses to marry me. He also runs a blog where he hands out free tactics for many games. Namley TopTierTactics.com. How can I get this person to give in and complete me?

Not WiNG, again, again


Dear Not WiNG, again, again,

There are two very reasonable facts that make our marriage completely impossible.

First and foremost, I’m already married. As far as I know, the state of New Jersey has not given polygamy the green light, and I’m completely certain that Elle would never approve unless you happen to be exceedingly hot.

Second, if I’m WiNG and you’re Not WiNG, it only stands to reason that our union, be it physical or legal, would result in a universe-ending paradox. As our W and nW particles interacted, they’d cancel one another out in a series of reactions that would tear time, space, and the Internet asunder.

While that sounds really cool, it would also entail the destruction of every single Nissan 300zx in existence, which would be completely fucking unacceptable. To that end, our love can never be.*


*Though just to be sure, you should send me that 2-karat diamond engagement ring. You know, just in case.

5 replies to this post
  1. To be honest, only use the eternal reward when disguising isn’t as crucial (aka when you’re on RED and there’s no sentries ready to drop you as soon as you show your smelly french ass).

    It’s main perk is being able to silently snuff people while potentially confusing any witnesses — good if people are clustered together and you don’t want them to instantly turn around after you get the first guy.

    However, in normal circumstances, disguises don’t fool anyone but gun-toting machines that defend intel and soak bullets. Not having a disguise shouldn’t affect your ability to stab too much (assuming there’s no sentries), though you CAN slip by the corners of people’s screens a little more easily. You’re really better off just using the regular vanilla knife most of the time.

    I guess it really depends on what kind of stealth you like to employ — hiding in plain sight or cloaking.

    • Also, the Saharan set is as cheap as hell and it breeds bad habits. Just learn not to decloak right behind people.

  2. Lol I hit enter without a comment in here and got to see your fancy “Error: Please type a comment.” Now I’ll wait while others do this to see it . . . . . .. . . . . .. . . . .. . . . .. . . .. . . . . . . . . . . .. . .. . . . . .. . . . .. . . . . . .. .
    Okay so I know tons of car guys and every one of them says Nissan is where it’s at. Guess I’m more of the old school variety http://www.saleen.com/vehicles/S302/

    I was wondering on a huuuuuuuge guide on how to get your first stab with the spy. My two cents on this is the sniper all the way back there, start with him and move up. The first guy to die (and respawn) might be a nice starting place too. Hunt like a predator after enough observation you should be able to pick the weakest morsel from the herd. Don’t know what watch you’re using now, but main C&D for a while. Back a few weeks ago there was a great article by Xiant concerning Black Ops. http://www.toptiertactics.com/2011/02/the-voice-of-youtube-black-ops-is-boring/ and how camping and just observing the “goings on” can help you better understand the game. Haters call it camping, but that tactic can help with that first stab. I main DR when using it just because of the safety net of if I’m made and need a getaway until I can “change” disguises . . . lol. Best of luck.

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