It’s a tragic scene which we’ve all witnessed before. A fresh, beautiful young couple spitting profanities across their cafe table,choking back tears of frustration, locked in an argument about Call of Duty. They cite the in-game weapon stats, and screenshots of bullet holes spread across a brick wall. The look in their eyes turns from disbelief into hatred. Their relationship is speeding towards a premature end.
“How could I possibly love a tomahawk whore?”
“What kind of a man doesn’t use the FAL? His mother must have neglected him terribly.”
These poor people are just the latest victims of that all-too-familiar culprit: complete bullshit. Game balance is made of numbers, but those numbers are almost always invisible, forcing players to make guesses, turn to pseudoscience, or worst of all, to believe the stats provided in the game. Bullshit is the enemy of truth, but now gamers finally have a Prometheus to bring us truth’s fire: Den Kirson.
Many of you might already know about Kirson. Xiant’s breakdown of Battlefield Vietnam is fueled by his data. His site belongs in any serious shooter fan’s bookmarks – he has comprehensive and well-presented balance statistics for an impressive number of games, with more coming as they’re released. I shouldn’t have to tell you how useful a precise understanding of your guns and perks can be, and not just for telling whether your date is a scrub. The mechanics of “pwning noobz” aren’t always as simple as they seem, and knowing all the details is the first step towards the perfect custom class.
Take Black Ops for example. Did you know that dual-wielded Pythons reload faster than a single Python with the speed loader? That the primary difference between the FAL and M14 is that the latter is more headshot-focused? That you are terrible for not knowing these things?
Kirson may not be the first data-miner, but he’s certainly the most dependable and organized I know about. Why don’t you take a moment to read more of what he has to offer?
Do you have another great source for the numbers underlying the games we play, or any other excellent sources of strategy and tactics? Submit them today, or tell us in the comments!