Here at Top Tier Tactics, we understand sometimes winning at video games just isn’t good enough. Once you’ve mastered the art of digital domination, it’s only natural for you to plan out your next real-life victory. You’ve probably asked yourself, “How do I get Susie Q. to notice me?” or “What is the best way to punish my boss for his flatulence?” or “Is it wrong to love money? I mean, to really love it, with your whole body?”

We could tell you the answers to these questions, or you could fill in your own real-life dilemma below. Every week, we’ll answer reading queries with suggestions on how to lie, cheat, bamboozle, or troll out of every situation imaginable.

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At Top Tier Tips, we provide terrible, amoral solutions for your everyday problems. How can T3 help you carry out a more fulfilling, spiteful existence?