Author Archive

HYPETRAIN 06/01/12: Attention passengers, stop being bad people

Jun 01, 2012 12 Comments by

After a long recess, Space Hamlet returns with a vengeance and a new installment of Hypetrain. This week, you’ll learn why you’re a terrible, terrible racist and what you can do about it. Also: shooting things.

Editorial, HYPETRAIN, News Read more

How to fix Team Fortress 2: Valve must fire Kevin

Jan 13, 2012 18 Comments by

Team Fortress 2 isn’t the game it used to be. Terrible optimization, random balance changes, and bizarre bugs. Space Hamlet exposes the conspiracy behind one specific Valve employee’s involvement in all these issues. Learn the terrible truth before it’s too late.

Balance, Editorial Read more

I like Modern Warfare 3 and I’m not sorry

Nov 24, 2011 16 Comments by

Space Hamlet is usually proud of disliking those games which you like. This time, he likes the game you (probably) dislike. Read to learn about all the beauty in the world you’ve forgotten how to see.

Editorial, Reviews Read more

HYPETRAIN: A Real Lick And A Promise

Aug 26, 2011 2 Comments by

Space Hamlet delivers the most exciting game announcement of the year. Drop your controllers and reach for a lasso before it’s too late!

HYPETRAIN, News Read more

HYPETRAIN: Clint Hocking on the Viking Culture

Jul 23, 2011 5 Comments by

In today’s annual HYPETRAIN, Space Hamlet expresses uncharacteristic enthusiasm for an article about why things are terrible.

Editorial, HYPETRAIN, News Read more

Bacon Legs – How to Leap Out of the Pan

Jul 11, 2011 14 Comments by

Xriloku brings the Baconator to Team Fortress 2 with his ridiculously cool Scout tips. Do you have what it takes to jump a mile in the Scout’s shoes?

Strategy, Videos Read more

The End of the Tunnel: Sony’s E3 press conference

Jun 29, 2011 6 Comments by

I somehow deluded myself into believing that WiNGSPANTT wouldn’t notice if I dug a tunnel to the surface, and he let me believe it. I was almost done, almost free, but he had been watching, and he came to stop me just before I finally got out.

Editorial, News Read more

From a Dark Place: Microsoft’s E3 press conference

Jun 07, 2011 7 Comments by

Those of you who listened to the inaugural Top Tier Talkcast will already know the reason why I couldn’t make it to E3 along with WiNGSPANTT and Rabid Ferret. But that’s ok. I didn’t want to go anyway. Screw those guys. What’s E3 anyway? Just a bunch of bad sequels for bad games, plus a [...]

Editorial, News Read more

HYPETRAIN: On data and mines

Jun 04, 2011 10 Comments by

It should come as no surprise that the god kings of the video game industry have more immediate concerns than how much enjoyment you derive from their products. What does manage to be surprising is the outwardly positive attitude the industry takes towards its quest of manipulation, brainwashing gamers out of their bottom dollar.

Also surprising: Top Tier Tactics receives real life press releases. Yep, the very same ones that go out to the real life press! The fun part about these releases is how certain announcements, like the one I am about to share with you, are given to us like we’re supposed to report them as good news. Maybe if we were IGN and we had some profit margin that was inextricably tied with the success of the game industry (or any profit at all,) we would indeed be excited by all the business of game marketing and encouraged to tell you that everything is good. But no, we are the most jaded (and the poorest) people in the world, and so without further ado here is some very unappealing news about one of the specific ways corporations compete for your money: data mining!

Editorial, HYPETRAIN, News Read more

Arcade: The Last Night At Chinatown Fair

May 20, 2011 No Comments by

An in-depth interview with the creators of an underground documentary about New York City’s last real arcade and its final days.

News, Promo Read more