2011 has a large number of great games in store. And whether you love shooting things until they die or punching people until they’re hospitalized, there’s something special waiting for your personal sociopathic niche. But we’re not here to talk about you, we’re here for me to dictate my opinion at you while the hidden text between each line slowly brainwashes you into joining my soon-to-be-announced cult.

Enough prelude; let’s check out the list!

You know how I feel about Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood, and you know how I feel about things that cost zero dollars, so it should come as no surprise that I’m fairly happy about Ubisoft’s decision to release at least two free multiplayer DLC packs. Though unimaginatively titled Animus 1.0 and Animus 2.0 updates, you can’t really complain when the price is right.

Right at zero.

(It’s free.)

What do these updates include? Animus 2.0 is rumored to contain some new maps and a new gameplay mode. Animus 1.0 boasts similar features, introducing Advanced Alliance mode (it’s Alliance, only the game gives you fewer hints) and two new maps based on Mont Saint Michel. At this point you should be emptying your bowels into your pants, because Mont Saint Michel is unarguably the most interesting place in France.* Why? Well, for one, Mont Saint Michel is a castle built on a mountain in a tidal pool that transforms it into an island fortress during high tide.

Helm’s Deep, eat your fucking heart out.

Dragon Quest IX is a jRPG for the Nintendo DS, released on July 11th, 2010. I bought this game day 1 and proceeded to beast through the main story. It combines both the old school jRPG feel that Dragon Quest is known and famous for, while adding a few new ideas, such as multiplayer gameplay and fully modeled equipment, similar to that found in an MMORPG. The main story lasts anywhere between 40-50 hours, which is more or less the standard for modern jRPGs, and quite impressive for a DS release. So, why have so many people sunk so many hours into this game if the story only takes 50 hours? Well, the main story is really nothing but a tutorial for what is to come. That’s not to say the main story isn’t fun. The story, while pretty cliched and done in a standard monster-of-the-week format, is fun enough to run your way through, with tons of interesting characters and funny puns. Once you beat the final boss of the story though, you are given free reign.

Unlike with the Spy, the Pyro’s newest loadout isn’t a total game-changer.

You won’t be spending all night planning new strategies, or ranting on a forum about how they have ruined your favorite class.

It’s much more likely you will try these new toys, fall in love, and immediately resume burning things to the ground.

Let’s take a look at what Valve has to offer…

Yesterday, the dreams of Team Fortress 2 players the world over came true as the Polycount Update pack was released. With 65 new items added to the game, you’d imagine the TF2 community was ecstatic.

Optional and/or cosmetic updates to my game? I’ll have none of it! FORUM RAGE!!!

But, as Valve is wont to include, there was a catch.

A problem.

At least, that’s what one would believe if he were to read the dozens of complaint-ridden threads on SPUF, forewarning the impending death of Team Fortress 2.

What was this insult, that would bring about the End Days? What terrible tragedy could possibly befall the greatest Hat Simulator of all time?

It wasn’t a game-breaking bug, or the removal of an oft-beloved feature.
It was the optional Mann Co. Catalog and Store.

As revealed in Famitsu and mentioned on Eventhubs, it appears Street Fighter 3 twins Yun and Yang (get it? They’re twins!) will be two of the (rumored 6) DLC fighters soon to be added to Capcom’s latest hit.

The free-to-play, optional microtransaction model is, in some ways, perfect. People who have tons of time but little money can grind away to their hearts’ content. Those who actually have a job can sneak in an hour or two after work, and buy some slightly better gear to make up for having a life. And of course, the person with no time or money is represented by merit that he has nothing to complain about (aside from hunger pangs).

Among the nuanced changes we’ve seen come to gaming in tandem with the Internet age, online transactions are probably the second most obvious (behind, of course, broadband online multiplayer). Whether it’s DLC, episodic games, or tie-in merchandise for your avatar, the credit card is increasingly a factor when stepping into the virtual arena. But, in a separate category common to Korean-based grind-fests (and recently seen in Battlefield Heroes), many publishers are also offering a different kind of downloadable content: grind-saving shortcuts.

For anyone who hasn’t been patiently following along, Duels gets its 2nd DLC expansion tomorrow. Among the features are new cards, new decks, avatar awards and, most importantly, bug fixes, including host migration for multiplayer games. It’s all 400 MSP, so get it pronto!