Ladies and gentlemen, it’s that time again. Time to look at the new additions to the TF2 arsenal and quash the “This weapon is OP and needs to be nerfed omg” arguments before they even start!
Just to begin with, though, with the theme being the Triad, how the hell were Valve able to resist the urge to put something referencing Rush Hour or Final Fantasy VIII? It was the triad in Rush Hour, right? The first one, that is, not ‘Jackie Chan does stuff in a Casino’ or ‘Why why, god why, I paid money for this.’ I don’t think the triad were mentioned in those two.
But enough irrelevant movie banter. WiNG is starting to look angry at me and is tapping* his watch impatiently. I didn’t even know he owned a watch.
The Neon Anihalator
100% crit on wet enemies, 20% lower normal damage and no crit hits. Finally the Pyro has a viable weapon whilst under water alongside the shotgun and fireaxe. I say underwater but it also counts if an enemy is Jarate’d, Mad Milk’d or standing in any kind of water source’d. In terms of realism, it should probably also hurt the Pyro if it’s being used underwater (If there’s one thing that Pokemon taught me it’s that water and electricity don’t play nice) but this game has teleporters, cloaking devices and only two beard based items. Criminal. For those interested, the Chinese translates to ‘Bar’ or literally to ‘Bar’.
Huo Long Heatmaker
Anti-backstabification for spun up Heavies. While spun up, you sustain a burning ring of fire around yourself which deals damage to other players but not buildings. However, as you move down, down, down (toward the enemy) the flames go higher (by depleting six ammo per second) so make sure to only spin up when absolutely necessary to properly (Johnny) cash-in on the flames. Huo Long translates as ‘Hiryuu’ or ‘Fire Dragon’.
Projectile which has 100% crit on stunned enemies, mini-crits over long distance and causes bleeding with the downside of no random crits. Whilst lobbing meat cleavers is always good fun, I don’t think that it’s a better choice than the Scout’s pistol. When are you really going to need to inflict bleeding on an enemy as a Scout? How often do you really come across stunned enemies to take advantage of the 100% crit bonus? Plus, unlike the Scout’s other projectile weapons, it can’t be picked up to replenish the ammo so you’re stuck with the six second recharge time.
Whilst it can be deflected by the Pyro, it will cause no damage when doing so at time of writing. The Chinese characters translate to ‘dead’ and ‘meat’ meaning that this should be kept separate from areas where live meat is being prepared.
Possibly one of the more interesting weapons I’ve seen for a while. A replacement for the Spy’s sapper, it simultaneously disables and reverses the construction process of sentries but deals no damage to them. To go from a level three sentry to a toolbox takes nine seconds (three for each stage of deconstruction), which is slightly over double the time it would take a normal sapper to just blow it up but that’s not really the point of the weapon. The main objectives of this weapon are to disable sentries and to make the engie burn through his supply of metal.
The Chinese on the front of the weapon translates quite aptly to ‘Anti-Sentry Device” as that’s all it can really do; the weapon currently doesn’t disable dispensers and pops off teleporters after one deconstruction cycle. Annoying bugs, right? This is alleviated by a bug which allows the appearance of the long elusive level two minisentry (and also one that allowed sentries to basically have infinite health).
Your opinion actually matters
So what do you guys think of these new weapons? Interesting? Waste of time? Tell us what you think in the comment section below and let’s get our discussion on!
* LOL BECAUSE HE PLAYS MAGIC: THE GATHERING, GET IT?