You’re playing a match of Street Fighter. Or Madden 20X6. Or Chess. Beer Pong. Whatever. You’ve honed your skills to perfection, and then some no-name upstart comes your way and challenges you to a throw-down. It’s on, and you know you’ve got this one in the bag.
But then things start to go wrong. You’re missing combos you’ve pulled a thousand times. Your controller doesn’t seem to be responding. Your Rossolimo Variation is blocked. Your roommates run out of Dos fuckin’ Equis.*
Defeated, you stand in front of your adversary and the crowd (where applicable) in judgment. This is the defining moment, when you man up to your mistakes, shake hands and exchange pleasantries. The moment when you…
Oh, right. You didn’t do any of that, because you’re DarkSydePhil.
Who is DarkSydePhil? In the most literal sense, he’s a fairly whiny popular YouTube gaming celebrity who has gained the fandom and ire of thousands of fighting game enthusiasts the world over. While his non-Street Fighter videos are genuinely entertaining, DSP is best known for his constant excuses, complaints, and cries of disbelief whenever he loses a match of Street Fighter IV. Examples abound:
From his trademark “Whaaaaaaa??” to his blathering “I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!” battlecry, DSP represents the absolute worst in every competitive gamer. Both sore winner and sore loser in one horrible package, DSP is the inner child that urges you to throw your controller through a window or eat a quart of ice cream while watching Fried Green Tomatoes by yourself. He’s a victim of a universe whose only directive is to ruin his gaming experience.
If he wins, it’s because his opponent was an unskilled scrub. If he loses, it’s because of lag, input latency, or demonic intervention.
We’ve all had DSP moments. Times when we couldn’t understand why we lost or what was going wrong. Days when it just seemed like our opponents were psychic. It’s only natural to feel angry and cheated. But in order to remain civilized, we must resist the urge to project our losses on fate, technology, and bad luck.
Some, including DSP himself, have claimed that his reactions are all for show. That he’s playing to the camera. Maybe. But I’m sure we all know someone (even if it’s ourselves) who reacts exactly like Mr. Phil does, even sans audience. And if you spend more time complaining about losing that learning from a loss, you’re the scrub and your opponent was victorious, not just in the game, but also on the moral battleground.
Also, it’s just goddamn annoying.
*This is a crime in at least 3 states, including New Jersey.