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Fictional Femmes Fatales


Dear TTT,

Who is the hottest female character in your opinion? :D

– I love jiggle physics

Dear ILJP,

That’s a very good question and one that’s been plaguing young and old alike now for many years. After much thinking and taking into consideration all the factors, the answer has to be…

Irina Sergeyevna Prozorova. She’s young, idealistic, innocent and, of course, stupidly smoking hot. Just how hot is she? She’s fucking Russian, that’s how hot. Find a picture of a twenty year old Russian who’s not hot and prove me wrong if you dare. You can’t because they don’t exist. Of course, the one drawback to all of this is that she never shuts the hell up about going to Moscow but who cares? You don’t have to listen to what they’re saying if you’re having nasty turn-of-the-century sex.


Frivolous Fandom

Dear TTT,

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood?

Serious question; why is this website so cool?

– Serious Punny

Dearest Punny,

Serious answer; because the writers here are awesome. There really isn’t any other way to put it, we are the shit and people love us. By ‘people’, I of course mean ‘women’ and refer you to the nasty turn-of-the-century sex mentioned above.


Financial Fucking Fairness

Dear Good Sirs of TTT,

What is the best way to determine whether a game’s DLC is worth downloading or not?


Dear Arby (if that is your real name),

The best way that I’ve found so far is to wait until it’s available on disc. If it’s so good that people are wanting a physical copy of digital content to the point where it ceases to actually be DLC then it’s probably worth getting. Of course, this very rarely happens but that works in favour of your wallet and possible entertainment. For the record, map packs are NOT worth any amount of your money. Anything that game companies were releasing for free on the PC five years ago (is it really that long ago now? Shit!) isn’t worth any more money now than it was worth back then.


10 replies to this post
    • I’m going to have to disagree with you a bit there. Don’t get me wrong, I stick by my point of saying that for things like maps, alternate armour or the ability to dye things black (seriously, fuck you Fable 3)are NOT worth paying for as DLC. Things like new campaigns (new, optional ones that don’t take place in the middle of the story, Assassin’s Creed 2) ARE worth it, however.

      I know I’m going to get death threats for this but I consider Half Life 2: Episode 1&2 to both be DLC packages; they’re extra bits that aren’t a full game but continue things quite nicely and are SO worth the fucking money (they’re also on disc, buy The Orange Box if you don’t already have it). Although people seem to be personally offended at giving game companies their money these days, DLC’s can be worth it and are sometimes one of the few ways that they can make money with piracy as an excuse whilst still rewarding those who bought the game.

      • Now that you mention it I DO think that some dlc’s are worth it but at the same time either are not worth its cost or could have a bit more content but that’s just my opinion

  1. Yes, but if Call of Duty has shown game developers anything, it’s that millions of saps will pay through the nose for four new maps. I did for Modern Warfare 2, and I’m not proud of it.

    I feel so dirty…

      • Personally, I say DLC should be able to continue the story and provide new content, not maps where an apartment balconey makes you geronimo *cough* Everyone’s favourite fish abbreviation *cough*.

        I purchased the Shadow Broker DLC for Mass Effect 2 because it was actually fun, and provided more playtime in Insane mode. It’s like Fallout without the fallout, but that would fall out of popularity.. never mind.

        Also, Google seems to think that Irina Sergeyevna Prozorova is actually a double for Emma Watson, in which case that Hermione Granger could very well be: A SPAH!

  2. I’ll stand by DICE and their Vietnam expansion. If I’m going to pay 15 bucks, I want a whole new experience, not an old one with new curtains.

    That said, I’m a whore and paid for the First Strike DLC. Call me a hypocrite if you must, but I’ll be damned if I’m not allowed to teabag a Second Chance bitch in the bleachers of a bloody hockey rink!

    That aside, I don’t know if I’m all about Brotherhood costing a whole sixty dollars. The mechanics are generally the same, and so is the art aesthetic, all you really need is new voice acting and a new map. What DICE did with Vietnam (separate the expansion into its own file set rather than cramming it on an already full disk) could probably have been done with Creed B. They could have charged $30 and been just as well off.

    But I need to get back to my stats, or I could fade into the ether again.

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