Home Contests Important Announcement to all readers

I am Lasombre of Borg. Since the departure of the human WiNGSPANTT has rendered this website irrelevant, I will now be in charge. You now exist to serve the Borg. Resistance is futile. Complaining is futile. Boycotting is futile. In order to progress assimilation of all Top Tier Tactics readers progress efficiently, the human Binerexis was chosen to speak here for the Borg until such a time comes that my being here becomes irrelevant.

When I returned here to the Top Tier Tactics office, I immediately destroyed the Failspy human’s desk to signal my superiority over the other members of staff. It is then that I discovered foreign code that your race call ‘coupons’. Utilising these coupons, I have devised a way to make assimilation more efficient. As I still possess the memories of the human Binerexis the Top Tier Tactics YouTube channel appeared to be the most useful outlet to reach you lesser lifeforms whilst simultaneously assimilating your worthless technology. As the humans called ‘geek’ and ‘nerd’ are prevalent amongst your kind as being the most able with technology, I have amended all coupons to be for $15 off items in the J!NX store. Here are my instructions:

  1. All humans must ‘subscribe’ to the Top Tier Tactics YouTube Channel
  2. Ten days from this date, no less than six subscribed humans will be selected at random to receive the coupons in exchange for their assimilation
  3. The selected humans will be contacted on YouTube containing instructions to receive their coupon code. Failure to comply will result in assimilation without reward.

 

‘Liking’ the Top Tier Tactics and J!NX Facebook pages will aid in assimilation. You must comply immediately. Resistance is futile. Life as you know it is irrelevant. Team Fortress 2 and beards are perpetually relevant.

 

The collective wishes to thank Tany of UKCS for her assistance in the assimilation of the humans. Her works of art can be found here. Art is irrelevant. Beauty is irrelevant. However, she is pretty good.

33 replies to this post
  1. I like free stuff. Or 15 dollarses. Which would be about 11.8 in my currency (LOL).

    However, I do not like having to like somebody on a page the likes of facebook to increase likelyhood of (winning) being assimilated to be alike to the race of epical beard carriers. Likely, that would be an honor without likes. So why make liking something boost your chances? That is plain unfair against those that refuse to sign up on failbook.
    Still subbed, of course.

    (Did I get every word from the “like”-family?)

    • Incorrect. The announcement states that liking Facebook pages only aids in assimilation. Only subscribing to the YouTube channel gives a chance to be assimilated with reward.

      I believe you humans would say that subscribing to the channel may yield a prize whereas liking the page on Facebook merely shows support.

      • Good to hear; I’m with Toraka on this. Not a fan of Facebook.

        Also: That beard is augmented!

  2. OOOH. I JUST GOT IT
    Borg= Cyborg.
    And I subbed already.
    And I welcome our bearded overlords. As long as I get a nice long orange beard I’ll submit to your demands. Otherwise, I’m legally changing my name to John Connor. And didnt wing mention that all machines can be deactivated with a big ’nuffield magnet? TO THE MAGNET STORE.

      • “The Borg are not machines. The Borg cannot be defeated by magnets” Is what you said. Why you thought was “Oh shit, oh shit, please let him be bluffing.” FEAAAR MY REFRIGERATOR MAGNETS.
        Not full machines anyways.

      • When the beard is epic enough, you have to wear it, even if you’re female.
        Bin’s beard is epic.
        Q.E.D.

      • NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  3. Okay so seeing how your race organized as an interconnected collective, the decisions of which are made by a hive mind, linked by subspace radio frequencies, can we safely assume all of your tactics within the game may seem astounding at first but later after playing with “your kind” awhile predictable, and foreshadowed. No individual ideas lead to predictability. I hope this isn’t true, and that the Borg make their way into the gaming spotlight (besides 7 of 9 is f___ing hot which you won’t understand so she is completely against resistance, and very servitude). Good Luck!

    BTW subscribed a week before this post.

    • Seven of Nine is corrupted by the flesh. It is only a matter of time before she is assimilated with the rest of organic life.

      Your argument about predictable actions and The Borg is of interest in terms of the logic of your race. Such feeble arguments will not stop us. Like your primitive AI, we learn and adapt. It would only be a matter of time before we adapt beyond your capabilities.

  4. Hey Cy-Borg!
    *Downloads yuri-loli-school-uncensor.exe on him and executes it*

    not working?
    In the movies, the robots are always beaten by a common computer virus.

    On a relevant (see what I did thar?) note, when is the human WiNG going to return? AC:R is in beta and he shall write articles about it NOW. Kthxbai.

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