I am Lasombre of Borg. Since the departure of the human WiNGSPANTT has rendered this website irrelevant, I will now be in charge. You now exist to serve the Borg. Resistance is futile. Complaining is futile. Boycotting is futile. In order to progress assimilation of all Top Tier Tactics readers progress efficiently, the human Binerexis was chosen to speak here for the Borg until such a time comes that my being here becomes irrelevant.
When I returned here to the Top Tier Tactics office, I immediately destroyed the Failspy human’s desk to signal my superiority over the other members of staff. It is then that I discovered foreign code that your race call ‘coupons’. Utilising these coupons, I have devised a way to make assimilation more efficient. As I still possess the memories of the human Binerexis the Top Tier Tactics YouTube channel appeared to be the most useful outlet to reach you lesser lifeforms whilst simultaneously assimilating your worthless technology. As the humans called ‘geek’ and ‘nerd’ are prevalent amongst your kind as being the most able with technology, I have amended all coupons to be for $15 off items in the J!NX store. Here are my instructions:
- All humans must ‘subscribe’ to the Top Tier Tactics YouTube Channel
- Ten days from this date, no less than six subscribed humans will be selected at random to receive the coupons in exchange for their assimilation
- The selected humans will be contacted on YouTube containing instructions to receive their coupon code. Failure to comply will result in assimilation without reward.
‘Liking’ the Top Tier Tactics and J!NX Facebook pages will aid in assimilation. You must comply immediately. Resistance is futile. Life as you know it is irrelevant. Team Fortress 2 and beards are perpetually relevant.
The collective wishes to thank Tany of UKCS for her assistance in the assimilation of the humans. Her works of art can be found here. Art is irrelevant. Beauty is irrelevant. However, she is pretty good.